This won't hurt a bit

I'm 45 minutes away from it being Wednesday. Oh please, bring on Wednesday.



Monday I saw the lawyer. Well, I saw her briefly on her way out the door while I was giving her assistant a big fat retainer check.



The lead up to this gave me some pain. Ok, a lot of pain. Just pain at being worried if I was doing the right thing or not. See, between the first lawyer posting and this one, the EX has backed off his nasty horse a bit and even stated "let's come up with a plan and put it in writing for now through when the kids are 18." This is what I wanted anyway, right? Without the retainer fee and without the huge chronology of our relationship (required by the briefly seen attorney) and without the scary factor of oh-crap-he's-going-to-get-served-and-will-be-so-pissed.



After a lot of talking with my handsome husband, he convinced me that it was best for us, the kids and even the EX to be completely legal about changes we need made.



I called my sister (the spiritually enlightened one) and said "since my husband said it was ok, I'm off the hook, right?" This is completely out of character for me. I mean, who get's absolved of a decision by having their husband ok it? June Cleaver?



"That's not exactly how it works." Said the smart sister.



So, I did what I thought I should have done all along and I got on my knees about the whole thing. I poured out my worries. See, I don't want to get before the judgement bar of God and see the movie of my life played out only to have some kindly angel (maybe Clarence from It's a Wonderful Life?) pause the whole thing at "Fall, 2010" and hear the Almighty saying "this decision was a little harsh, it might be a deal breaker." I wanted to do the right thing.



Eventually, later in the afternoon I got an answer. It was a feeling of calm. Kind of like sitting on a park bench reading a book, spending a few minutes when you don't have to be anywhere. I didn't even recognize the answer at first. Just later, after I got in the car to head across town for the meeting, I realized I wasn't anxious any more. I was calm. I was hoping for a ray of light across the front yard that spelled out in big gold letters "GOOD DECISION", but what I really got was kind of a mental thumbs up. That's good enough for me.



Then my face started to hurt.


This is entirely different, but I think still a miraculous blessing that I didn't know I'd had.



See, last December (2009) I had a tooth that began to hurt so bad that my nose and cheekbone ached. My ear ached. I had a hard time thinking of anything else. I was busy and threw meds at it, thinking that I would get to the dentist ASAP. Then I found out that my dentist closed up shop and went on a mission with his wife. Dang dentist. So, I futzed around and didn't really find anyone else for a few days. Then I went on a short vacation to visit my best high school friend on her important birthday (no need to go into year details, is there?)



Then suddenly I was pregnant.



The tooth that had bothered me for some weeks was suddenly silent of it's ache. In the excitement of expecting, I completely forgot about it. Then I was on bed rest and remembered it. "I really should get to the dentist" but I couldn't go anywhere! And the pain still stayed away. I would think about it some times and would worry about it, but knew I was stuck. And still the pain stayed away.



August 19, out comes the baby. Hoorah!



I spend weeks getting settled. Getting to know Iris' needs. Having mastitis. Having a UTI. Keeping her safe and trying to keep me well. Finally, last week things seem to fall into place. I'm well, she's well and safe and getting fat.



BAM. Toothache.



Seriously, how else can I explain a rotten tooth that takes a 10 month vacation only to show back up once everyone is safe and sound? It's a miracle. I thank my Father in Heaven for tooth miracles.



Now, can someone please MAKE IT STOP!?



(yes, I have an appointment for tomorrow)



Goodnight.