I Get To Go Back To Church! and other news

I haven't been to church since May. I'm the primary president.

Bed rest, bed rest, bed rest... then baby.

I didn't go to church for about 11 years of my adult life. I was married to an agnostic, and quite honestly I just didn't have the gumption to get to church every week without him, or family, or anyone else. I know women now who do and I admire them very much.

My former used to tell me "if you want to do something, then don't listen to what I say about it and just do it. Fight me for it!" That isn't what I wanted to do (I'm not a fighter really); I didn't think a marriage should be about fighting the other person to get what you want. Thusly, I was nice and didn't go. I didn't do a lot of things.

I continued to be nice, nice, nice. Nice during fights and nice in the face of riducule and neglect, and then nice through the divorce and afterwards. My friends, my family, my eternal companion all have said "you're too nice to him" and while I agreed, I also know that since we have children together I have a long time I have to be civil.

Until this week.

He asked for something I couln't give him, and when I couldn't give it to him (explaining nicely why) he demanded so much more. He crossed a line, which is kind of good.

I believe in being Christ like. I believe in turning the other cheek. I also believe that my Father in Heaven doesn't want me to be stepped on, or shoved around... and that he wants what's best for my children.

I've finally contacted a lawyer to straighten some things out, and I feel much better.

He used to tell me to fight him if I didn't like what he wanted. Ok, so now I will.

I've prayed a lot about this, and wasn't entirely sure it was what I should do. To be more forceful. Then today I happened to grab a box of miscenlaneous stuff on a whim in the garage, and in the box was some paperwork I'm going to need at the law office. I didn't know it was in that box, and I wasn't looking for it yet.

I took it as a sign, that what I'm doing is ok and appropriate for my family.

I can't wait to get back to church, to worship Him properly with friends and family who love me and don't want me to fight with them.